Published : 2023-07-20

My toddler won't go to sleep: 10 tips to get your child to sleep

- Categories : Child Sleep

IN THIS ARTICLE :

What to do when your child won't sleep?
Helping your child feel at home in their room
Creating a sleep-friendly environment
Establishing rituals and consistency
Talk about their dreams and fears
Daytime naps matter too
Stay calm, patient—and firm
Meet their needs, not all their wants
Think back to your own childhood
Other helpful strategies

“How did we get here?!” you wonder, watching your child run around the house because they stubbornly refuse to sleep—and it's already past 10pm.

You thought this phase was behind you, but suddenly, it's as if everything has been forgotten. Your usually calm little one turns into a full-blown nighttime tornado, pulling out every excuse in the book to delay bedtime. But now it’s time to bring peace back to the house—for your child’s sake and yours!

First of all, take a deep breath: you're not alone!

More than 1 in 3 children under the age of 7 show signs of sleep disturbances.

We’re going to walk you through 10 practical tips to help get things back on track and make sure your little one sleeps peacefully again—and so do you!

What to do when your child won't sleep?

To help your child gently drift off to dreamland, there are three golden rules to remember:

👉 Calm, Patience, and CON-SIS-TEN-CY.

Start by talking things through calmly with your child. Pick a quiet moment on the weekend, during the day, sit down at their level, and gently explain that bedtime needs to be respected.

Highlight that it's important for them—to grow strong, feel good the next day, and also for you, so you can shower them with morning cuddles!

Even when it gets tough, try to stay calm. And when needed, don’t hesitate to hand things over to your partner for support!

Finally, it’s key to understand why your child won't sleep. Is it anxiety? A need for more affection? Too much stimulation? It might take time to figure out, but by following the 10 tips below, your little one’s sleep habits are sure to improve.

1. Help your child feel at home in their room

A child who sleeps well is a child who feels comfortable and safe in their bedroom. That’s why it’s important to create, together with them, a cozy space that reflects who they are and helps them feel calm.

Let them choose their own decor: wall colors, where certain items go, and more.
The bed should never be used as a punishment—it should always be seen as a space for rest and comfort.
Your child’s room should only contain their belongings. It’s their own personal space.

🖼️ Our Tip: A magical sleep object! To help your child feel safe, you can create a special photo frame together.

Choose a photo of yourself that your child loves, find a simple wooden frame, and let them decorate it however they like (stickers, pom-poms, ribbons, etc.). At bedtime, show them the photo and gently remind your little one that you’re watching over them and never far away!

2. Create a sleep-friendly environment

Having a calm and relaxing atmosphere before bedtime is essential!

Lower the noise level, dim the lights, and avoid overly stimulating activities. And of course—screens should be completely off-limits!

Also, be mindful of your own behavior: speak more slowly, move gently, and set the tone. Be the example! After all, even you feel more ready for sleep when reading a book by the fire with soft music playing—rather than at a loud party! 🌆💤

3. Routine & Consistency

Before age 7, your child still struggles to fully understand the passing of time. So when you announce it’s bedtime, you’re often met with a surprised face and a: “Already? But I’m not even tired yet…”

To avoid bedtime feeling like a sudden interruption, give your child regular time updates. Say things like: “One more hour to play” or “We eat in 20 minutes, and then it’s bedtime.”

Setting up a consistent bedtime routine is also crucial. The goal? To keep it as regular as possible. Take time to think realistically about how long you can dedicate to this routine each night.

And above all, don’t start a routine that’s easily disrupted by the ups and downs of daily life!

Create a predictable pattern: dinner, bath, a story, a cuddle, a glass of water—then repeat it every night like clockwork!

4. Talk about their dreams and fears

Your little one can’t yet fully tell the difference between dreams and reality.

It’s important to comfort them and help them understand there’s nothing to be afraid of. Very often, when a child won't sleep all of a sudden, it’s due to anxiety.

Talk it through with them to figure out what’s bothering them. Maybe their friend didn’t want to play at recess? Maybe they’re scared of the dark and don’t want to be alone? Maybe a bad dream is still haunting them? Once you know what’s going on, the solution is usually simple: reassure them, use a nightlight, or give that “not-so-scary-after-all” nightmare a happy ending!

5. Daytime naps matter too

Sometimes, your child might refuse to go to bed simply because they’re overtired!

This is known as sleep debt. Even if they think naps are “just for babies,” lying down for even 30 minutes during the day can actually help them sleep better at night!

Of course, naps—or at least quiet time—should happen in the afternoon, ideally right after lunch.

Want to learn more about sleep debt? Check out our full article: All about sleep debt in children

6. Stay calm, patient—and firm

Even when it’s tough, try not to lose your temper.

Bedtime should be a peaceful moment for everyone. But being calm doesn’t mean giving in. You know better than your child what’s good for them.

By setting clear boundaries, you’re giving your child the structure they need to grow and thrive. So let go of any guilt: you’re doing the right thing, and the more confident you are, the easier it will be to lead by example.

7. Meet their needs—not all their wants

It’s important to meet all of your child’s essential needs—physical, emotional, physiological, and biological.

But that doesn’t mean saying “yes” to everything.

Of course, setting boundaries can be frustrating for a child, but it will ultimately give them a deep sense of security and calm—both of which are key to helping them sleep well.

8. What about when you were a child?

Finally, take a moment to reflect on your own childhood.

When you were little, what were you afraid of? What helped you sleep better? Don’t hesitate to share these memories with your child—it helps them see they’re not alone and that these fears do fade away.

Children also tend to mirror their parents’ habits. One in three adults also struggles with sleep issues, especially insomnia. So try not to linger in front of your laptop at night or send the message that sleep is a waste of time!

9. Other helpful solutions

There are also other ways to help your child sleep better.

Here’s a short, non-exhaustive list you can try—depending on your child’s needs:

🧘‍♀️ Meditation: Why not try meditation to help your child relax? With no need for deep philosophy and just a bit of consistency, meditation can work small wonders!

Of course, there are a few important guidelines to follow: keep it as simple as possible, encourage your child’s imagination, and most of all, adapt it to what they enjoy and what they need.

🌿 Homeopathy: Homeopathy can also help your child sleep better. If they’re feeling overstimulated, anxious, or having frequent nightmares, consider this gentle option before reaching for syrup-based remedies that could risk becoming habit-forming.

😭 Controlled Crying Technique (CCT): Also known as the “stepped approach” method.

This method is intended for parents who feel they’ve tried everything and still can’t find any solution to help their child fall asleep. Of course, it should only be used once all other causes have been ruled out (nightmares, night terrors, anxiety, stress, etc.).

Start by calmly explaining to your child that you won’t be coming in again each time they call. The first time they cry, wait 5 minutes before going in to offer a quick comforting cuddle, then leave the room again.

For each additional cry, add one more minute before returning. Repeat this process the next night, and the night after, until your child learns to fall asleep on their own. This method requires a great deal of patience and composure!

10. Consult a specialist

If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, don’t hesitate to reach out to a specialist for further guidance. A psychologist or doctor has the expertise to offer tailored advice and help your little one find sleep more easily.

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