Published : 2023-07-17

Your baby does not want to sleep: what to do?

- Categories : Baby Sleep

IN THIS ARTICLE :

Baby won't sleep due to overtiredness or stress
Baby won't sleep: is it a sleep regression?
Baby won't sleep: physical discomfort might be the cause
Baby won't sleep: could it be a sleep disturbance?
Could it just be your baby’s temperament?
Understanding a normal stage in your baby’s development
What to do when your baby won't sleep: our top tips

"Why won’t my baby sleep?"

It’s a question many parents ask themselves at some point. Watching your baby refuse to sleep, wake up frequently, or cry at bedtime can quickly become a major source of stress and concern.

However, it’s important to know that sleep issues in babies and toddlers are very common. Whether it’s crying before falling asleep, frequent night wakings, or a complete refusal to nap, these behaviors are perfectly normal parts of a child’s development.

The main reasons why a baby won’t sleep often include:

Crying to release tension: just before bed, some babies cry as a way to let go of the day’s built-up emotions.
A change in environment: moving house or introducing a new routine can disrupt your baby’s sense of security.
Sleep regressions: these often happen during key developmental milestones.
Overtiredness (sleep debt): paradoxically, a baby who’s too tired may find it even harder to fall asleep.
Physical discomfort: teething, colic, or other minor ailments can make it difficult for your baby to settle.
Baby’s temperament: some babies are simply more sensitive to stimuli and need extra time to wind down.

In this article, we’ll help you better understand why your baby won't sleep and explore the different possible causes behind these sleep struggles. You’ll also find practical advice to help guide your baby toward more peaceful nights.

You’re not alone in this. Together, let’s explore gentle solutions that bring calm to both you and your baby.

1. Baby won't sleep due to overtiredness or stress

👉 Sleep debt

One of the biggest challenges parents face is something called “sleep debt.”

A 6-month-old baby is generally expected to sleep around 10 to 12 hours per night, with some variation. When those hours are missed, the lack of rest starts to build up over time, resulting in a significant sleep deficit.

This often leads to crying at bedtime and frequent night wakings.

So it’s important to understand that when your baby won’t sleep, it might actually be the first sign that your baby is too tired to fall asleep!

If your child isn’t getting enough sleep, they may resist settling down at night—creating a frustrating cycle of overtiredness and restlessness. To help avoid “sleep debt,” here are 3 helpful tips:

👶 Put your baby to bed earlier To avoid disrupting their natural sleep cycle, simply move bedtime earlier by about 10 minutes each day over the course of a week. Of course, this also means adjusting mealtime and the entire bedtime routine accordingly.

😪 Watch for your baby’s sleep cues If your little one is yawning or rubbing their eyes, it’s a clear sign that it’s time for sleep. Chances are, your baby won't sleep right now simply because they've already missed their ideal sleep window.

⏰ Create a predictable routine It’s important that your baby gradually learns the difference between active times and rest times.

For healthy sleep habits, it’s all about finding the right balance between your baby’s natural biological rhythm and the routine you gently put in place.

👉 Release crying

If your baby won’t sleep and regularly cries between 5 PM and 10 PM—even though all their needs are met (feeding, diaper, cuddles...)—it’s likely what’s known as release crying.

This kind of crying often happens at the end of the day, when your baby is letting go of the tension they’ve built up throughout the day. It’s their way of finding emotional and hormonal balance before falling asleep. While these moments can be challenging for parents, they’re entirely normal. Release crying is a natural part of your baby’s development and isn’t a sign of unmet needs.

Instead, it shows that your baby is trying to self-soothe before drifting off to sleep.

If you’d like to learn more, check out our full article on release crying here: 📁 Release Crying in Babies: Understanding and Supporting Them

Support your baby’s crying instead of trying to silence it Release crying helps your baby release built-up stress and lower their cortisol levels, creating a hormonal balance that supports better sleep.

In these moments, many parents wonder: should I let my baby cry it out?

The truth is, your baby needs emotional support during these episodes. It’s essential to stay close, offering a calm and reassuring presence so they can express their emotions safely. By being there with them while they cry, you’re helping your baby release tension and gently return to a state of calm.

👉 A change in your baby’s environment

If your baby won’t sleep even though they used to sleep well, they might be unsettled by a change in their environment.

Babies are highly sensitive to their surroundings, and things that seem minor to adults can greatly impact their sense of security. A move, a shift in the bedtime routine, a parent going back to work, or even simply rearranging the crib can throw your baby off balance.

Events during the day—like an unusual outing or meeting new people—can also affect your baby’s sleep later on.

The bedtime routine is especially important because it offers comfort and predictability. If that routine changes—whether it’s a new sleeping space, a different bedtime, or even small changes in the usual steps like bathtime or a lullaby—it can confuse your baby and make it harder for them to settle. That’s why it’s essential to recognize even subtle changes and re-establish a stable, soothing routine. Consistency and comfort are key to helping your baby feel secure and drift off peacefully.

2. Baby won't sleep: could it be a sleep regression?

Your baby used to sleep well but is now suddenly refusing to sleep? They might be going through what’s commonly called a sleep regression.

Behind this term lies a completely normal behavior triggered by developmental changes or stress.

As your baby grows, they’re learning to regulate their internal clock and beginning to experience the stress or anxiety of falling asleep alone. So it’s only natural that your little one may find it difficult to let you go at bedtime.

These phases don’t last forever, so try to be patient—they usually pass within a short time.

That said, here are a few helpful tips to navigate this kind of situation more smoothly:

👶 Baby needs to learn independence gradually Be careful not to associate your baby’s sleep with a specific object or external event. It’s important for your baby to learn how to fall back asleep on their own, especially during nighttime awakenings.

If your baby cries before bedtime or wakes up during the night, hold them for 2 to 3 minutes—but no longer. It’s important to do this as often as needed to comfort your baby and help them feel secure enough to sleep well.

If cuddles last too long, it may cause your baby to associate bedtime with anxiety rather than calm.

🌃 The importance of a bedtime routine Establishing a consistent bedtime ritual helps ease separation in a calm and restful environment. Gently clean your baby’s face and diaper, then spend a quiet moment together—a story, soothing words, or simply your presence can be enough!

3. Baby won't sleep: could it be physical discomfort?

👉 Teething pain

One common reason why your baby won’t sleep is simple: they may be experiencing teething discomfort.

Look out for signs like red cheeks, excessive drooling, or a tendency to chew on anything within reach.

There are several ways to help soothe your baby, such as using homeopathic remedies or a teething gel. If you don’t have any of those on hand, a gentle gum massage or a warm bath can also bring relief.

Similarly, digestive discomfort may disturb your baby before bedtime. Avoiding late snacks can help, and once again, a soothing tummy massage may be just what your baby needs to sleep peacefully.

👉 Infant colic

If your baby won’t sleep, they might be experiencing physical discomfort, such as infant colic. These episodes usually involve intense crying, often in the late afternoon or evening, and may come with gas and abdominal tension.

To help calm your baby, try gently massaging their tummy in slow, clockwise circles. Placing your baby on their stomach—while closely supervised—can also help release trapped gas and ease the discomfort.

👶 Pay attention to your baby’s room To ensure your baby enjoys peaceful sleep, it’s essential to create a calm, comfortable environment. If your baby starts crying for no apparent reason, consider whether something in their room has recently changed.

Make sure the room temperature stays between 18°C and 20°C (64–68°F), as a space that’s too hot or too cold can disrupt sleep. Open the windows daily to keep the air fresh and reduce dust. Choose a high-quality, firm mattress that properly supports your baby’s back.

It’s also important to monitor your baby’s sweating. Opt for a breathable mattress fabric and avoid blankets, duvets, or sheets for young children. Instead, choose appropriate sleepwear like a sleep sack or footed sleeper. Lastly, limit the number of stuffed animals in the crib—too many bulky items can interfere with sleep and cause nighttime awakenings.

4. Baby won't sleep: could it be a sleep disturbance?

It’s normal for babies to wake up frequently during the night, but it’s important to know when to consider a sleep disorder.

Parasomnias—which include behaviors like night terrors or frequent night wakings with crying—can sometimes be signs of underlying sleep disturbances.

If your baby is experiencing frequent awakenings that leave them exhausted the next day, or if there are noticeable changes in their sleep behavior, it’s a good idea to consult a pediatrician or pediatric sleep specialist.

These professionals can assess the situation, identify whether parasomnias are involved, and recommend appropriate solutions to help improve your baby’s sleep. For more information on baby sleep disorders and possible solutions, check out our article: "Baby cries in their sleep: how to help?".

Could it just be your baby’s temperament?

Every baby is different, and their temperament plays a major role in their sleep patterns. Some babies, known as "highly reactive," respond intensely to environmental stimuli. They may be more sensitive to noise or changes in routine, which can affect their ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. On the other hand, "low-reactive" babies are often calmer and less affected by their surroundings.

It’s also important to consider that genetics can influence your baby’s sleep. If one parent had trouble sleeping as a child, it’s possible that your baby may show similar patterns.

To best support your child, try to align your expectations with their unique personality. Acknowledge that your baby may need more time or a specific kind of environment to feel calm. This understanding will help you build a sleep routine that truly works for them. Be patient and gentle—every child finds their own rhythm, and it’s completely normal for some to take a little longer to settle into it.

Understanding a normal stage of development

Many parents hope that by 4 months, their baby will start sleeping through the night without waking.

It’s a common expectation—but in reality, baby sleep is often more complex than that. If your baby isn’t sleeping “like a grown-up” just yet, don’t worry—it’s completely normal.

The truth is, most parents go through challenging sleep phases, and it’s simply part of your little one’s natural development!

🧐 What does science say? According to the Canadian study "Uninterrupted infant sleep, development, and maternal mood" by Pennestri, M.H. et al. (2018):

👉 38% of 6-month-old babies and 28% of 12-month-olds still don’t sleep for 6 uninterrupted hours. And when it comes to 8-hour stretches, it’s even more common: 57% of 6-month-olds and 43% of 12-month-olds do not yet sleep that long without waking.

This clearly shows that every child follows their own rhythm, and difficulty falling asleep is simply part of your baby’s normal developmental process.

Baby’s sleep evolves over time!

In the first weeks of life, babies don’t yet distinguish between day and night. Learning this rhythm takes time and can sometimes lead to crying, especially in the evening.

In the well-known book “Sleep, Dreams, and the Child” by Drs. Thirion and Challamel, the authors explain that evening crying is one of the first signs that a baby’s internal clock is developing. This phase typically begins around 4 weeks of age and involves intense crying between 5 PM and 10 PM. It’s a completely normal part of your baby’s development.

There is a natural curve of infant crying, which usually peaks around 6 weeks and gradually decreases after 3 months.

This phenomenon has been widely studied and is recognized as a normal stage in infant development. According to research published in Revue Devenir, crying increases naturally during the first weeks of life before stabilizing.

This means that bedtime struggles in the evening—often seen during this stage—are completely normal and should not be a major source of concern for parents. These cries are part of your baby’s natural growth and development.

So, what can you do when your baby won't sleep?

Here are a few practical tips to help when your baby won’t settle down to sleep:

1. Check for physical needs When your baby won’t sleep, the first step is to check their basic physical needs. Make sure they aren’t hungry or thirsty, and that their diaper is clean. A room that’s too hot or too cold can also disrupt sleep, so aim to keep the temperature between 18°C and 20°C (64–68°F). Taking a moment to assess these factors can make all the difference and help your baby feel more comfortable.

2. Establish a bedtime routine Creating a soothing environment is key to helping your baby sleep. A consistent and comforting routine sets the stage for rest. Try introducing familiar bedtime rituals like a warm bath followed by a story or lullaby. A calm, familiar atmosphere can ease anxiety and signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down and go to sleep.

3. Support the crying It’s normal for babies to cry sometimes as a way to release tension. In those moments, your presence and gentle cuddles are essential. By comforting your baby, you’re helping them release their emotions while reassuring them that you’re right there by their side.

Discover REMI
THE SMART BABY MONITOR 😊

REMI and its app bring together everything you need to manage your baby’s sleep!

Its mission? Helping families sleep better — from birth up to age 10.

 5/5

Super Fun!
I bought REMI for my 4-year-old son who didn’t want to sleep alone anymore after his little sister was born. Thanks to the remote wake-up system and bedtime stories I can play from a distance, the issue is completely resolved! I 100% recommend this purchase!